Since Christine’s Death…

This will be the last week that I will use the above title for what I write in the Westwood Message. On Sunday, I will again preach at Westwood and over the next two to three weeks will resume other regular weekly activities, including Bible studies. I am looking forward to resuming my usual activities and looking forward to being with you this Sunday and into the future.

Nancy will be with me this weekend and through the first half of next week. During those days, we will begin going through many things that still need to be taken care of at home. This will, I am sure, be an ongoing process for a few months, but we must begin with some of it.

My sermon Sunday will address how our faith in Christ can and should be respond to personal tragedy. I still have much to process and much to learn from what the future holds after Christine’s death. While that will take a while, some things have already become clear to me, and I want to share those things with you. I hope that these things will help you resolve your own feelings about Christine’s death and even more will help shape you for when and if you face a personal tragedy of your own.

As you recall, we asked people who wanted to make a memorial gift in Christine’s memory to make a donation either to Westwood or WCMA. My family and I have been overwhelmed at the response people have made with memorial donations. On Sunday, we will announce our plans for use of the money given to Westwood.

Among the blessings of the last week in my life were two phone conversations with long-time friends of Christine and I. Both calls were made last Saturday.

The first was to Mike and Carol Nauman. Carol and I both attended Lincoln Christian University at the same time. She had moved on before I graduated. After Christine and I were married and then moved to Oklahoma six years later, I was surprised to find she and her husband were attending the church that we went to Oklahoma to serve. Christine met Carol for the first time, and we both met Mike for the first time. A couple of months after our ministry began there, I baptized Mike. Today they live in California, and Mike has been in ministry himself for over 30 years. Our friendship continues, and it was a joy to talk to them again.

The second call was to Irv and Bev Linn. We have been like family since we first met in Orion, IL, the town in which I had my first preaching ministry beginning in 1975. We have shared family events, I married their three children, and we traveled to Israel together in 2000. Due to health issues, they could not be at Christine’s funeral, but their two daughters were here.

These people are dear to Christine and I. Their support, along with yours and that of many others, is a great strength to me during these days.

God bless,

Ken

Since Christine’s Death…

I had a week of wonderful time with family and tearful partings last week in California. My sister and her husband, Connie and Doug, as always, were gracious hosts. I also was able to spend time with their daughter and her husband, Jess and Tim, and with Christine’s sister and her husband, Susan and Harry. We shared each other’s company and our memories, and we laughed and cried together.

One of the highlights of the trip was attending a Bible study with Connie and Doug that Doug leads every week. Several of the people at the Bible study I already knew and some had met Christine, and others were people I met for the first time. They were all warm and supportive, and the evening with them lifted my spirits. They affirmed for me what I have often witnessed of Christians and am experiencing firsthand now: In times of difficulty and grief, Christians rise up and support and encourage each other, even across time and distance.

Since my return to Madison on Monday, I continue to work toward my return to duties at Westwood and the handling of personal matters. I have had some wonderful phone conversations this week with family members and dear friends and had an enjoyable dinner and visit one evening with one of our Westwood couples.

Among all the cards and personal greetings that Nancy, Dave, and I have received are some that bless me beyond words. Here are three examples, one that I would have expected and two that I did not:

• The preacher who baptized me and who has been a lifelong family friend sent me a very encouraging letter. He and his family attended Westwood for a brief period of time in the early 1960’s while he worked for WCMA, our state church planting organization.
• I received a card and note from a lady in Vermont who attended Westwood some in 1998 when she was in Madison while her grandson had a kidney transplant. She has followed Westwood since then through our newsletter, saw the news about Christine, and sent her card. I have never met her.
• I received a card, note, and memorial gift from a Mennonite church in Dowagiac, MI. A week or two after Christine’s funeral, her brother had preached for the church. He told me afterwards that he had left his sermon material at home, and so he told them about Christine’s accident and death. That moved them to send a card and memorial gift.

Also this week, a dear friend sent me a verse from a prayer of the Irish saint, St. Patrick. It expresses how we need to seek out Christ in every circumstance. If you would like to read the entire prayer, I have posted it on my blog (follow the link in the sidebar.).

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

God bless,

Ken

A Prayer of St Patrick

A friend sent me this prayer of St. Patrick while I am grieving Christine:

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this today to me forever
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in Jordan river,
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb,
His riding up the heavenly way,
His coming at the day of doom
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of cherubim;
The sweet ‘Well done’ in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the star lit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave, the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
By Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Since Christine’s Death…

I spent the last half of last week in Cincinnati with Nancy and Dave. The trips I have been able to take since Christine’s death and my time away from responsibilities at Westwood have been a blessing to me I have been able to spend valuable time with family as we have grieved Christine’s death together and have processed many of the things that we need to accomplish in the days and weeks ahead.

At times this process has, of course, not been easy. We have remembered and we have cried, sometimes at the thought of the smallest of things. Some tasks that are usually accomplished without much difficulty have taken greater effort. One of those was handling a flat tire on my trip to Cincinnati, and another has been having a new microwave installed at home. I appreciate the help of Gary Rockwell in finally getting the microwave installed on Tuesday this week.

As I returned on Saturday from Nancy and Dave’s, I changed plans and decided to be at Westwood on Sunday. I was glad I did so. We had a wonderful day at Westwood as Jennifer Shaw was baptized into Christ and Don Hochmuth preached for us and led our adult class. If you missed his sermon from Romans on “Putting Grace in Place,” you can listen to it on our church website. It is an excellent message on understanding the centrality of God’s grace in our salvation.

Following classes on Sunday, Don, his wife Kris, five others from Westwood, and I went out to lunch. We had an enjoyable time visiting for half of Sunday afternoon. The entire morning and afternoon were a balm for my heart and soul.

On Tuesday this week, I left Madison in light snow and flew to Southern California where the temperature was about 80 degrees when I arrived. I am spending a week with my sister and her family in Moorpark. On Friday, Christine’s sister and her husband will arrive from Oceanside to be here for the weekend. I may have opportunity to also see some other friends who live here.

As things stand now, this will be my last extended trip before I resume my responsibilities at Westwood on February 1. I will visit another church in the state on January 26 and still have a one day trip to make to Illinois to see some dear friends. Otherwise I will likely be in Madison most of the time for the remainder of the month. If you would like to visit with me personally about Christine during that time, I would be glad to do so.

On the next two Sundays, two of our own men will preach at Westwood, first Wayne Shockley and then Terry Walker. I trust they will also bless your life as the others who have preached at Westwood have in the last month.

Many of you, along with numerous other friends and family — some of whom Christine and I have known for many years, and some whom we have known just a short time — have blessed my life in the last few weeks. I am extremely grateful to each one who has reached out to my family and I. While I rejoice that Christine has received her reward in heaven, these days are still difficult — for you as well as for me. Yet I trust that God will bring wonderful blessings through the days ahead and advance the work of the Kingdom of God.

God bless,

Ken

SINCE CHRISTINE’S DEATH...

It was a rich blessing for me to be at Westwood last Sunday. I have been told by others who have experienced the kind of journey I am on that the first Sunday back at church by yourself is a hard one. On the one hand, I found that to be true. It was hard driving to church alone last Sunday after so many Sundays over the years of having Christine with me. It was hard singing some of the songs, and it was hard knowing that all of you who also loved her are also missing her.

On the other hand, it was a Sunday worth celebrating as I baptized Marty Davenport into Christ and as we installed/ordained new elders and officers for 2014*. I appreciated Marty Ganong preaching for us and sharing his Bible translation ministry with the adult class. He is doing such a great job, along with his wife Tina, in western Africa, and I am glad he could have more exposure to Westwood. I enjoyed sharing lunch with him, his fellow Bible translation missionary who was with him, and the Ehlers.

Since last Sunday, I have been in Madison taking care of matters that I can. At times, I feel emotionally paralyzed. That has especially been true this week as I was to leave for Cincinnati to see a nephew play a college basketball game. Due to the extreme winter weather, the game was postponed and I could not travel to Cincinnati until Wednesday. So I am spending the last part of the week in Cincinnati with Nancy and Dave. I plan to return home on Saturday and to travel to Menomonee Falls on Sunday to visit Legacy Christian Church which was planted in 2011, and then will fly to California next week to spend a week with my sister and her family.

Now, let me tell you how we were able to bless some families this week who come to our Food Pantry. While I was traveling to be with family just before Christmas, I received a call from Erik Spengler who owns and manages The UPS Store on Monona Drive (I do business there for WCMA and have known Erik for over five years). His store is a collection point for Toys For Tots each Christmas season. This year Toys For Tots did not collect his toys and suggested he contact a church that might be able to distribute them. That resulted in Erik’s call to me.

Just before New Years Day, I informed Gloria Jean Ehlers of the toys we had and suggested she might be able to distribute them to families with children who use our Food Pantry. Last Thursday evening, January 2, Gloria Jean arranged to have those who came to our Food Pantry who have children select a toy for each of their children. We were able to bless these families with more than food. They were trilled and grateful. When I informed Erik early this week of how we had distributed the toys, he was also thrilled and appreciated being informed of how we had distributed the toys.

This coming Sunday, Don Hochmuth will preach at Westwood. Don and his family are lifelong friends. We grew up in the same church. He ministered for many years in Wisconsin, including a lengthy associate ministry at Roxbury Road Church of Christ in Janesville. I hope his message will bless your life on Sunday.

God bless,

Ken

*In introducing the new officers, I failed to introduce Rob Ehlers as taking on a new three-year Trustee term, as well as that of elder, and Dennis Seman as taking the role of Trustee to fill an unexpired term.

A MONTH I DID NOT EXPECT TO HAVE

You all know that the month of December did not turn out anything like I expected it to. On December 8, I preached the second of what was to be four sermons in a Christmas series. It was the last sermon that I preached in that series. On that evening, everything changed. Then on December 14, Christine and I planned to hold a Christmas Open House and 40th Anniversary Celebration. Instead we held a celebration of her life that day. Those are only the highlights.

While losing Christine has not been easy and while the last month has been anything but easy, the Lord has made some things clear to me through it all. I would like to share some of those with you.

(1) Life is fragile. James 4:13-14 says, “Come now you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’ — yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” We too often live without any thought that life could end, but sometimes it vanishes as quickly as a wisp of air. Here is a chance for us to pause and consider how we view our lives.

(2) Family is important. Besides the Lord walking with me through this time, I have been immensely blessed by my family walking with me through this. Nancy and Dave were with me everyday from December 9 through the day I came home after Christmas on December 28. They handled a huge number of details. What a blessing they have been!

Then there was our extended family. Christine and I love everyone of them. Our siblings and their families arrived from all over the country. Christine’s brother, his wife, and two of their daughters handled parts of the funeral itself. All of them helped each other with rides to and from the airport. We were all shocked and sad, but all exhibited the spirit of Christ through everything. Christine was influencing people for Christ before I knew her, but perhaps her greatest witness was that of her family at her death. Love your family, make friends with them because you never know when you will have to go through difficulty with them.

(3) The church is important. I lost count in the first day of how many churches, besides Westwood, were praying for us. They not only prayed, but they sent flowers and cards and some came to the funeral and the service at the cemetery. I have found that Christians will practice unconditional love like their Savior in the most trying of times. I have been a recipient of such love before, but never more than at this time. Those of you from Westwood have been leading the way during this time, and I cannot thank you enough. Learn to love like Christ and go out of your way to demonstrate it to people when they need it the most.

One of the blessings that we received came by way of a letter on the last day of 2013 from the Lions Eye Bank. Nancy and I decided early the morning Christine died to make a donation to the Lions Eye Bank of her eyes. On December 31, I received a letter that our donation went to a man from Neenah, WI, who received an opportunity to see again.

We can bless people today with longer and better lives while on earth through organ transplants and donations. The greatest blessing of life, however, comes through the resurrection of Christ. Only through him can we experience eternal life. Christine now experiences eternal life, and by the grace of God we will too. Live for him every day.

Since Christine’s Death…

Since I last wrote this missive a week ago, I have experienced the deepest heartache and the deepest joy. I have been amazed at how those two opposite emotions are often experienced in light of the same circumstances.

First the heartache: we held a brief service at the Oak Ridge Cemetery in Christine’s home town of Buchanan, MI. Nathan Babcock, the minister at her home church, Buchanan Christian Church, read scripture and prayed at the brief service in the cemetery chapel. We sang “Amazing Grace” and closed by singing “It Is Well With My Soul.” Then we walked to the grave site where Michael Driscoll, her professor from Notre Dame whose statement about Christine was read at her funeral, read Scripture and prayed. Then I lowered her remains into the ground. Afterwards we shared lunch at Buchanan Christian Church.

Now the joy: We were joined for the service and lunch by more friends from her home church and the surrounding area. Included in the gathering were friends of Christine from high school, including two members of her bridal party in 1973 and a college roommate. So many people have been such a blessing to us. On Friday evening, I took the family who was still in the area out to dinner, and we enjoyed a wonderful evening together.

On Saturday, Nancy, Dave, and I left our mother-in-law’s to return to our homes. I enjoyed one of the greatest, deepest joys of these last few weeks on my journey home. On Friday afternoon, I had finally made contact with Donna Mitchell, the woman who introduced Christine and I to each other 41 years ago. She had been such a blessing to both our lives, and has proved to be a blessing to me again. I met with Donna and her husband, Chris, for two hours. When we sat down with each other, it was as if all the years just vanished. We talked like the two old friends we were. You can only thank God for friends like that. That visit made my return home so much easier.

In subsequent email exchanges, Donna counted up the significant days in a married couple’s lives that a surviving spouse must now experience alone that I had already been through. She counted six, including my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, and New Years Day. I am looking forward to experiencing those days next year in happier circumstances.

Last Sunday, I attended the Footville Church of Christ and experienced the joy of being with more longtime friends. They hugged me and encouraged me and have continued praying for my family and I.

Since returning home, I have handled personal matters and begun dealing with things in our home that must be faced after the death of a spouse. Through it all, God is being gracious to me.

This coming Sunday, I am looking forward to being at Westwood. We will give attention to an annual event in the congregation as we install/ordain two elders to new terms and our other officers for the year. Marty Ganong, Bible translation missionary in West Africa who was with us for Great Communion in October, will preach. I am looking forward to seeing everyone and worshiping together.

God bless,

Ken